Friday, August 13, 2010

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate!


"You brought the no-sodium, all-organic, gluten-free trail mix, right?"

Just in case you were wondering, the picture does indeed go with the title of the blog. It says "All hope abandon, ye who enter here." Its the original Italian text from La Divina Commedia (The Divine Comedy)by Dante Aligheri, (according to the Internet anyway) and Ive decided that my man Dante here is gonna help me class up the joint by contributing some verses. Maybe his fine writing will make up for my terrible grammar. Anyway, that pic kind of sums up the feelings i have about this diet i have to be on for the next couple of weeks. As in, abandon all hope of a cheeseburger, or nachos, or chicken Parmesan or anything else i like to eat. Yes my friends, i have started the LID.

Vero è che 'n su la proda mi trovai
de la valle d'abisso dolorosa
che 'ntrono accoglie d'infiniti guai.
Oscura e profonda era e nebulosa
tanto che, per ficcar lo viso a fondo,
io non vi discernea alcuna cosa.

True is it, that upon the verge I found me
Of the abysmal valley dolorous,
That gathers thunder of infinite ululations.
Obscure, profound it was, and nebulous,
So that by fixing on its depths my sight
Nothing whatever I discerned therein.
Canto IV, lines 7-12

As of the time i type this, it is the second day of the LID diet, or the Low Iodine Diet. (which is redundant i know, but just calling it the LID sounds stupid to me.) I think i need to apologize to my wife because, for as much prep work as she did i feel like i am totally unprepared to go into this diet. We have "legal" food at home, but its all more like a list of ingredients; Dry black beans and dry rice and raw chicken and such. I don't really have any meals that i can just heat and eat, or spoon in to some Tupperware and go to work with. (When you are hypothamic, you want everything to be as convenient as possible. Thyca folks will know what i mean by this since being hypo is a miserable experience.) So, that's my plan for this weekend. I dug a little deeper into the cookbook and found that i can have small amounts of some oils so i plan on making my own potato chips and other lightly fried goodies. I would say that I'm excited but that's a relative term. I'm as excited as my body is willing to let me get.

A friend of mine called me out for being a cliche earlier tonight. Since my wife is away on business, i was complaining that i felt like i brought a ton of food and nothing to eat. He laughed and said i was a typical guy who would starve if his wife wasn't there to cook for him. Hes only partially right. i can make toast and open a beer. The fault lies with me, not her because she was busting ass to get prepared for this diet. Both she and my mother spent a lot of time at Whole Foods and other oat-snorting, hippy grocery stores to try to find iodine free stuff that i could eat, or more accurately, would eat. On the times that i went along, i was not the best help so...If you are out there hun, I'm sorry.

Nessun maggior dolore
Che ricordarsi del tempo felice
Nella miseria.

There is no greater sorrow
Than to be mindful of the happy time
In misery.
Canto V, lines 121-123

Ok, this one is a little bit dark, but for you thyca folks who have yet to go on the diet i think it points in the right direction. Don't sit there miserable remembering the great times and foods that you had when you could eat them, but take the opportunity to maybe find and enjoy new things. I understand that's easier said than done because i have the palette of a 4 year old. I still like and dislike the same crap i did as a child. Burgers, tacos, anything and everything involving cheese. I'm going to have to shift my paradigm for a bit though to get through this without wanting to rise up and slay a coworker just to taste the burger grease dripping from their lifeless fingers. (geeze, sorry. Dante is starting to rub off on me a bit...)


Dante Aligheri

When Scrooge steals your style, you probably have issues.

Ive been keeping a food diary on my phone and ill post it when its a little more useful to other LID dieters, so be on the look out for that, it should be a super exciting read. Again thanks for reading and I'm gonna leave you with one more quote. I think in my head, this is kind of where I'm at. Yes i miss the "good" food but at the same time looking forward to eating foods that are actually better for me.

Quale allodetta che 'n aere si spazia
prima cantando, e poi tace contenta
de l'ultima dolcezza che la sazia,
tal mi sembiò l'imago de la 'mprenta
de l'etterno piacere.

Like the lark that soars in the air,
first singing, then silent, content
with the last sweetness that satiates
it, such seemed to me that image, the
imprint of the Eternal Pleasure.
Canto XX, lines 73-77

P.S. I'm sure i have misinterpreted some of the lines here. Let me be preemptive by saying, I'm sorry if Ive offended someones literary sensibilities. The verses seemed to work in the context i wanted them to work in.


  1. Since I'm the wife that 'busted ass' at the oat-snorting hippie stores I just have to say once - I feel that way everytime I get home from the grocery not just for the LID prep - so many ingredients - so few ideas of what to do with them!

    I know there are healthy options there but never seem to have the 12 hour block of time needed for a kitchen-challenged person to do anything productive with those ingredients!

    Been thinking about it a lot during the boring part of my classes at this conference and have come up with the following:

    -seasoned black beans and rice

    -Kristin's pot roast recipe - I've been craving that again since the last bite I ate of it when she so generously brought it over

    -spaghetti with salt free tomato sauce

    -fruit icees since you can't have the milk of a smoothie .... wait- just had a thought. I can make you a smoothie with coconut or almond milk... will have to try that when I get home tonight

    -oatmeal with cinnamon and honey

    salt free meat loaf shaped in irreverent forms - thanks Bernie for making it OK to never have boring old rectangular meatloaf again...

    ....and more to come. I plan on having a marathon kitchen day tomorrow to make our fridge look like a 50s freezer (rows and rows of tv dinners anyone?) where all either of us have to do is grab a tupperware, microwave, and go....

    Any special requests???

  2. For reals, your blog is just good.

    Also, I totally feel you guys on the "so many ingredients, so few ideas" thing. I find food blogs -- with PICTURES, there have to be pictures -- help me. I know some good vegan ones ... I'm sure not iodine-free (I'm looking at you, SOY -- also bread), but definitely plant-based and maybe pretty adaptable for you needs. For what it's worth:

    (I have this cookbook in hard copy, too, if you want it.)

    Good luck!

  3. Becky - watch out for almond milk, I think it either has soy or salt in it. Coconut milk is GREAT though.

    Nick - Ugh. I'm hating it too. Hang in there, the first few days can be the hardest. Hope some of my suggestions were helpful. :)

  4. Yeah, I uh...haven't been too careful about the meat restriction, I'll admit. Did not realize 6 oz was only half a chicken breat. Whoops. I've been trying to watch my grains a bit more, but am also probably eating more than I should be. I'm really not a veggie person, so meats and grains are about all I have.

    Argh! Why is this diet so STUPID?!