Wednesday, December 22, 2010

What A Load Of Crap

     I know i haven't posted lately and I'm sorry for that.  Life is getting back to normal for me and normal usually means that there isnt much to talk about. That being said, my medical issues continue to affect me day to day, so I felt like this was topical enough to share with all of you.

     Like most places of business, my employer puts on a little get together at the end of the year. At the end of the function, everyone gets a "gift". I put that in quotes because its really just a way for us to clear out the closet where we cram all the promotional swag and press realease garbage that accumulates through out the year. Anyway, most of the things that come out of there are books and t-shirts. The book I ended up with was about cancer (it was a little awkward actually) but my friend hit the jackpot with her book.


Quack doesnt even BEGIN to cover it.

     In writing "The Secret Language of Your Body: The Essential Guide to Health and Wellness", Inna Segal has put on her Zamfir's Greatest Hits Vol.1 CD, ignited a stick of her favorite incense and has gracefully placed a great, steaming pile of poop upon the chest of medical science.

     This book has to be one of the dumbest, most irresponsible pieces of "medical" literature I have ever read. The entire premise of this book is that your emotional difficulties and hangups are physically manifesting themselves as disease. Im pretty sure I didnt get cancer because I "carry wounds from my past" or because my "guilt, grief and uncertainty are eating away at my body." It wasnt guilt eating away at my body it was the giant tumor in my throat. Oh, and by the way ladies, if you suffer from PMS just know that it is caused by feelings of "anger, confusion, anxiety, fear and self-doubt." It has absolutely nothing to do with hormones or biology or science. Mrs. Segal also writes that childhood diseases (vague) are brought on because the child "needs attention and love" yet is "feeling unworthy and undeserving of love and affection." Tell a 9 year old Leukemia patient's parents that cancer is killing their child because he's insecure, see how that goes over. What a bunch of crap.

Here's some more ailments with their supposed causes...

Alzheimer's Disease- Loss of power to deal with life.

AIDS- Feeling guilty, wronged, disappointed, dirty sexual shame.

Anal Bleeding- Pushing too hard. (HA! Sorry, I had to include this one.)

Blindness- Not wanting to see what is goin on around you.

Burns- Feeling burned out. (Really?!)

Coma- Not wanting to be here.

Drug Addiction- Inability to cope or get help .(this is getting stupid now.)

Insanity- Inability to deal with life or think straight .

Leukemia- Lack of joy, resistance to life. (

Sore Throat- Not saying what you really feel.

Tapeworm- Feeling like people are sucking your life force away and controlling you. (You'd think it would be a tapeworm. You'd be wrong.)

Wounds- Self-critisism and judgement. (face palm.)

     Her suggested remedies to all these issues are only slightly less stupid than the causes. I would go into greater detail about this, but  as it turns out, pretty much everything can be cured by giving your afflicted body parts little daily affirmations. Seriously, just tell them how good they make you feel and that you appreciate them. After you have finished kissing your asses ass, make sure to ask the "divine healing intelligence" to cure what ails you.  Do you have breast cancer? Simply tell your boobs how great they are and you'll be all fixed!  Do you have tennis elbow? Ask the "divine healing intelligence" to disolve stagnation, stiffness and everything else thats wrong with it, but be sure to say "thank you" (Politeness must be observed.) There is also some drivel about the healing power of certain colors, but since my crazy train had already left the station, I didn't really read that part.
     Look, I can't lie and tell you I've read this entire book because I haven't, but what I HAVE read is all snake oil and lies. And before you say it, yes I am making a judgement on a partial reading, and no, reading the rest will not change my mind. It already makes me want to find a baby seal, name it Inna Segal and then punch it in the throat.

     I get that modern medicine has its issues. I also get that some people get to a point in their illness that fear and hoplessness set in. This isnt the answer though. I feel like this woman  preys upon that same fear and hopelessness and desperation to make a buck. (The same woman sells thereputic massage music for rodents on her website. I couldnt make this crap up!)  I honestly feel bad for the people who are feel they need to look for something like this.  Chances are that if you have picked up this book and find yourself agreeing with anything said in need more help than this book can offer.

Wow, that got all serious at the end there.   Thats about it for me, see you all next time.


  1. If your cancer comes back and you find yourself hearing words like "incurable" and "not a lot of options" this book (or one like it) and see if it sounds completely different.

  2. Obviously written by a nut job. I would suggest you watch a documentary called "The beautiful Truth." You can watch it on Netflix. I am certainly not one of those "hokey" believe anything king of guys. What I am learning through a ton of research is that you should minimize the amount of process foods you eat. They cause more harm than you realize.

  3. I have always been pretty sarcastic. That must be why I got cancer.

    This is almost as awesome as "The Secret" (i.e. you got cancer because you believed you would). :-P

  4. It is hard to get over the pans of the illness in the body and yet live the day seeing and living other experiences.If some one is doing that it is awesome.